Saturday, October 4, 2008

Lovely afternoon

Well mid-week this weekend was planned to be something totally different. Mike was going to go camping and prospecting and I was having the house to myself till I headed to Geelong on Sunday. Then my father-in-law rang and asked whether it was okay for him to come down. Of course it was! I'm just so glad he's made a move like that and instead of us asking him down he's taken it into his head to decide. Big steps forward. So because it was a big step for him, Mike cancelled the camping and we had a lovely afternoon.

Egg and bacon pie and salad for lunch followed by apple cake for dessert. Yum! FIL did tell me he only really was coming for my cooking! ha. He'll win me over every time if he comes out with statements like that. Step son no. 1 came down too so it was a boys afternoon. Spent in front of the television. Watching the motor bike racing. Okay well not my cup of tea, but it was lovely seeing the three of them enjoy the sport and each other's company.

Tomorrow ...

Tomorrow is a huge day. It's mum's birthday. Her first since dad passed away. The only thing about tomorrow is it's also her wedding anniversary. She got married on her birthday 45 years ago. I already know she's going to have a difficult day tomorrow. She's told me she doesn't want a cake. She doesn't want to go out. She doesn't want it to be all happy happy joy joy. That's okay if that's how she feels, but she's not going to be alone. I've booked an RDO on Monday and I'm staying down there with her Sunday night. I told her heck we can play cards or watch telly Sunday night, I'll just make dinner, nothing special, if that's what she wants, but she's not going to be alone. She said okay.

Was I being pushy? Probably. But it felt right to push when I did. We'll see what tomorrow brings. I worry because it will be signs of things to come. Some big days coming up. Dad's birthday in November. And then Christmas, the first anniversary of his death. It's going to be a tough couple of months.

I did another page for the family album. Lots of journalling. But there was a story to be told. Mike didn't think it should go in the album, but our family story has to be about the good things and the bad, right? And this one does have a happy ending really. I don't think I've ever mentioned it here on this blog, but mum is a cancer survivor.


Credits here.

In case you want to read it and it's not clear enough or big enough for you, the journalling is as follows:-

Hope is what we needed when in 1993 you had pains in your side which seemed to spring up overnight and got worse. What was initially thought of as kidney stones saw you referred to a specialist. With trepidation and fear in your heart you did the tests, had the dye treatment and the ultrasound and our worst fears were realised when they said the words you just never want to hear. "You have cancer of the kidney". The specialist didn't waste any time and within three days you were in hospital and your diseased kidney was removed along with a few ribs. The doctors were sure they had it all but you always had that fear in the back of your mind. Five years passed and they gave you the all clear. You were okay. You would learn to live with one kidney, you knew your limitations. Life went on. Until disaster struck again and in 2002 after suffering through what seemed to be the flu after a very stressful time trying to find a nursing home for grandma after she had fractured her hip, you went into kidney failure. We were so scared that this was it. We had never seen you look so sick. Your one remaining good kidney had shut down. You felt so sick that I remember you saying one night in hospital you didn't care if you lived or died. You were put on dialysis until your blood count went back to acceptable levels. Such a terrifying time for all of us and most especially you. Now you know to take care of yourself and you watch for even the smallest signs that things are not as they should be.

You are a fighter. You are strong. You are a survivor.

Some days you might not even realise it but you are the strongest woman I’ve ever known.


Bells said...

oh. Your poor mum. What a tough day to go through. Even if you were a little pushy (and I don't think you were, really) it's better than the alternative of her being alone. Much better.

Egg and bacon pie and apple cake? What an awesome menu. No wonder he comes for the cooking!

Jodie said...

I don' think you were pushy at all, my guess is that your Mum doesn't really want to be alone, but also doesn't really want to put anyone out. {Hugs} for you for today, just remember however the day works out, both of you will get through it.

Oh and yay for your FIL making the decision on his own, heck I would come and visit for that menu as well :)

Love the layout, sorry Mike I disagree... all stories have good and bad times, so I say put it in the book.

I'll be thinking of you today.

Victoria said...

Happy Birthday to your Mum!

The journaling and layout are so amazing! I am struck by the title of "Hope" being distressed, but still there on the canvas. You are such a blessing to your brave mum!

Lisa Beth said...

Carol, this is a peaceful page with such powerful words. I think you're right to put it in, and yet I understand why Mike wouldn't want to include it. Life's not easy but both your mum and Pat faced all the joys and struggles of life. Thank you for sharing.

Hope certainly is the best title for this page!

Lynne said...

I type this with tears in my eyes. A beautiful page, Carol, which should most definitely be in the album because it's part of your family's story.